


Drowning Chrysanthemum

by 1mae_jxxxx1



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Amepan, Have Fun!, I am not saying much, I cry everynight, M/M, also why isn't there enough Ameripan in this cruel world, angst at the end, don't want to make things too obvious, haha - Freeform, okay okay not really, okay you won't know if that's true, well... yeah yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 14:39:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8628346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1mae_jxxxx1/pseuds/1mae_jxxxx1
Summary: " I can hear a muffled voice, screaming my name. I want to scream back, 'Please help me!!' I gain the courage to open my eyes. It's so blurry...I'm drowning. With my remaining strength, I open my mouth, knowing the water will enter my throat, making it even more difficult to survive this. Who's name am I screaming? I don't know, but I know that this person is willing to help me, this person I've hold dear to me. "[ ON HOLD, I WILL BE EDITING THE FIRST CHAPTER AND THEN ACTUALLY CONTINUE IT ]





	

_I can't breathe._

_All I hear is that annoying ringing in my ears, and it is very loud. I want to scream, but I know I shouldn't open my mouth. I want to reach out to them. Who? I myself have no idea of who I'm trying to grasp. I am aware I'm struggling., but from who, or what? I can feel my struggling is becoming more violent by the second, desperation is the only thing I feel. I don't want to open my eyes... I'm afraid of what I'll have to see._

_I want to reach out._

_I can hear a muffled voice, screaming my name. I want to scream back, 'Please help me!!' I gain the courage to open my eyes._

_It's so blurry...I'm drowning._

_With my remaining strength, I open my mouth, knowing the water will enter my throat, making it even more difficult to survive this. Who's name am I screaming? I don't know, but I know that this person is willing to help me, this person I've hold dear to me._

\-----

I open my eyes and blink a couple of times. " It was just a dream. " How many more times, do I have to dream this? I take a deep breath and look around. How many more times will I wake up? Living in this house is... I grip the sheets tears starting to roll down. _He should've just ended with me long ago... then maybe, I would've been by Mother's side._ I shouldn't be crying anymore

Most of my mornings start this way, I have horrible dreams, I start thinking about mom, I cry, and then I get myself dressed for school as fast as I can. But today, oh no, today is a different day.. too different. Today is my first day at my new school...which to me, only means that more lies would have to be told. Lies, Lies and more Lies... I've gotten used to it. While telling a lie, I no longer stutter, look to the ground, nor hesitate. Hating to lie is another thing. The hatred, The shame, that is something I've never suppressed. I had told myself countless times, one day, you'll forget about having to feel that way, but that day has come nowhere near, or ever. I feel too much, I always have.

Suddenly I hear the front door slam and my heart stops. I look over to the clock, which read 7:36 A.M. _Doesn't he leave at seven?_ I wonder. _I should get up and change now or else I'll be late, and on the first day. That wouldn't make a good first impression_. And he would certainly not like that as well, he probably even already spoke to all my assigned teachers... telling them absolutely absurd things about me. They'll learn those details of him are lies soon enough.

The school doesn't really start until 8:30 A.M. I can take my time today...probably the only good thing that'll happen today. I finally get up from the bed and gather my uniform, the pants are just plain black, well not really, more like gray, the black has been fading from the many washes its had. The shirt is just the simplest white polo I could find in the closet, after that I put on this black sweater, thankfully this one was the newest thing in the wardrobe, well, I had bought it since some time ago, but it hasn't been worn, so it can still be considered new.

 _Supplies, check. Fixed messy hair, check. Managed to look decent, check. Ate breakfest....that's right there's never any food in here, and when there is, it's only meant for him._ I go back to my room since it seems to be the only clock in this entire apartment. 7:59 A.M. _Well, I guess I should just start walking down there._ I swing my backbag over my shoulders and walk outside.

I'm very surprised by the sudden breeze from the outside, not even am I allowed to go out for fresh air. _It feels so nice I could cry._ But I won't, I've cried enough. _Crying because of the weather would only make me feel stupid afterward._ Even the crunching of the fallen leaves are enough to place a smile on my face, but I can only smile so little. The colors around here are so beautiful! The apartment doesn't compare at all! _I wish the outside was my home._

\---

I stop in front of the school... _Well, what do you know, I'm here already_. I mean eventually, I have to go in. _I'm not nervous at all...ugh how can I say such a false statement, of course, I'm nervous... I'm not ready, to start this new life, to have to make up more lies_. I look both ways before taking a few more steps, getting closer to the main doors. _I could easily run away_.No. I shake my head and inhale deeply. _Here I go._

As I open the door I see students rushing to their classes desperate to get there on time. The tardy bell had just ringed, a couple of them are just walking slowly not caring about being marked late. _Alright, all I need to do is go to the office and receive my schedule_. I decide to take my time, I am new after all, that should be a valid excuse as to my tardiness. I continue walking, offices aren't hard to spot, after all, to most schools I've been to, the office was always near the entrance.

I extend my arm to open the door, but it opens before I even touch the handle, I look up. "Good morning " The woman before me smiles. " Uh, yes, good morning, " I respond and finally enter the office.

" Do you need anything young man? You should be in class " This other woman's attitude is noticeably different from the one earlier, she had even responded without looking up from the computer. " ...I'm a new student and I've come here for my schedule, please. " She finally looks up and sighs. " Your name, and grade "

" Kiku Honda, 11th grade. " It took about two minutes for her to find me in the system, and honestly I was starting to get a little impatient, I want to get this day over with.

" Alright, found you. I'll be right back, " She stood up, I'm assuming she's printing out the paper.

Finally, she comes back after a while and hands me my schedule. " Thank you, ma'am. " "Hurry up to class " I nod and walk out the office, the hallways are empty and very quiet, expect the occasional laughter from inside the classrooms. I look at the piece of paper in my left hand. Thankfully I won't be starting my days with stress since my first class is Art. " Room number 708. "

I jump at the sudden sound of someone falling to the floor, I quickly turn around and get closer to the girl. " Um, are you okay? " I extend my hand out to her. " Huh? Yeah, I'm okay, I knew that was the worst thing to do anyway. " She accepts my hand and so I pull her from the ground. " Whatever you were doing, you should be careful next time, or do you want to break something? That sounded like it hurt. "

" Agh, it's nothing I can't handle, also " She chuckled. " I lost a bet and I have to be walking around the school with my shoelaces from both shoes tied together, pretty evil huh? " I stayed silent, I should've just continued walking to my class, but she continued talking until she finally introduced herself. " My name is Mei, yours? "

" Kiku. " I replied so boringly. _I need to get to class as fast as possible like I had said before, first impressions are important, either way, I'm already late_...Lucky for me, she spotted the paper in my hands.

" What do you have there? " Then she gasped. " Oh! You are a new student! Let me see your schedule " She's being too eager to see it, I just sigh and give it to her waiting for her to end her observation. The next thing I just hear is a squeal, " We have Art class, History, and Math together! " Okay, I guess she could help me find my way to class. " Um, could you help me get- "

" Of course, I was obviously on my way there! I promise you, you are going to love Art class!! " I honestly don't like the sound of that. It must've shown on my face since she added to that. " Don't worry, I mean it, everyone knows each other there, sure some can come off as jerks, but they don't mean harm, common. "

\---

The class was somewhat far away, I guess it is understandable since the school was enormous. " And, here we are! " She said extending her pronunciation of the A. " Oh no, " She says with a horrified voice as if she just realized something. " We are late right!? Ahhhhh! I'm going to get scolded once again, this is the third time! And I said it wouldn't happen again " She continued freaking for a couple of seconds more until she stopped and looked at me. " Okay, I have to calm down, she's a very nice teacher, surely she'll give me one more chance right? Right. It's my fault you are even later now. "

" It's alright, and I'm sure if she's nice as you say, she'll give you one more chance. " She nodded and finally knocks on the door, it was opened by a teacher. " Oh, hello, are you new here? " " Yes, um- "

Her gaze suddenly fall to Mei, " Mei!, This is the third time you are late in a row! How many more times! " Mei only kneeled down and started begging. " I'm so sorry Mrs. Héderváry, It won't happen again! "

The teacher only groaned, " That's what you said last time, look, I'll let it slip this time, but next time I will have to count you tardy, and call your parents, go on in " " Yes, ma'am! "

" Sorry about that, so we have a new student huh? Common in, so you can introduce yourself and meet everybody " Her voice was really sweet and sounded very caring when she spoke to me, I guess you just don't have to get her mad. I followed her inside and instantly all eyes were on me.

" Well, as you have noticed, we have a new student! " I'm sure she was waiting for me to introduce myself. but I don't like talking in front of big crowds, I don't like being the center of attention. " Go on, don't be shy " She whispered.

" M-my na-name is " I breathed in and stopped, why is it so hard for me to just say my name? " I can't Mrs...um " "Mrs. Héderváry " "Mrs. Héderváry, I can't I- I can't talk in front of many people, I'm sorry. " I looked down to my shoes. _There you go again, embarrassing yourself and making yourself look pathetic._ " Oh, well it's alright, mind telling me your name? "

" My name is Kiku Honda, " I told her, she gave a small smile, looked up and turned to the class. " His name is Kiku Honda, be nice to him alright? You can sit on Alfred's table, Alfred, please stand up so he knows which table I'm speaking of." He proudly stood up and patted the spot next to him quite fast. Mrs. Héderváry laughed, " Go on, he's a very energetic student, he might even make you come out of your shell sweetie "

I hesitantly walked towards the empty chair and slowly sit down. " You okay, dude? You looked pretty shaken up. " I shook my head. " No, everything's alright" _There goes my first lie. I'm sorry._ " My name is Alfred Jones, nice meeting you. " _Alfred Jones_. There's something about him that gets my attention, Is it his sky blue eyes? His voice? His blond hair? His somewhat familiar name? I don't know. " It's nice meeting you too. " My voice comes out soft and very low, I would be surprised if he had been able to hear.

" Chrysanthemum, " He says. I know my face started heating up, but I give him a questioning look as if I didn't know what he was speaking about. " My favorite flowers "

" Ah, mine too, " I say... " My mother named me. " I look down remembering about mom, I had said that without thinking straight. " Well, she gave you the prettiest name, didn't she? " I give a small nod, and he smiled as bright as the sun, a smile that made my heart warm.

_And I knew, something had sparked right at that moment._

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh! Thank you for whoever read this, yes you! I really hope you liked it because I spent a whole lot of time writing this. I really hope it's worth it though, considering how terrible I am at updating, and how little people like Ameripan. Mei is Taiwan btw:p Anyway, I really mean it when I say Thanks, Until later!( I am aware it might've been boring, but it's just the beginning)


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